


Dying Galaxies and What Could Have Been

by ionlyspeakinlamemetaphors



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Heavy Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, POV John Watson, Sad Sherlock
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-20
Updated: 2017-02-20
Packaged: 2018-09-25 19:30:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9840755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ionlyspeakinlamemetaphors/pseuds/ionlyspeakinlamemetaphors
Summary: John is a starving novelist without a novel, with a worn out typewriter and constantly growing pile of composition notebooks to record his accomplishments.A career just out of reach, an almost dream come true.Sherlock is an angry, reclusive scientist without a job, tricking all with a facade of carelessness and cold, manipulative intellect.A waste of potential. An almost genius.But they have each other.And even that is just another almost.





	

In a way, I guess I'm lucky.

Most people never fall in love like I did.

Most people never get to know someone like him. 

I mean, sure, he's mad, Sherlock Holmes, with his experiments and brain whirring at the speed of light. But I am too, I guess. I'm rash and attracted to danger and I _hate_ this, _Jesus Christ I hate this so much that I almost hate him,_ but I'm still living with him, living in a delusion that maybe one day the man incapable of loving will just realize that he is infatuated with me.

And it's so hard living with him.

Because it feels so _could be_ , so _should be_. The ghost of kisses on the cheek and lovesick giggles and a feeling of GODDAMN HAPPINESS, FINALLY IN MY SORRY LIFE.

A sense of home, of belonging.

A whisper of what I feel I should deserve. Even though I don't.

I don't deserve him. He's so much more than I am, with my poetry and pretentious way of describing things that feels hollow because that's what I've become. Hollow. I'm being consumed by my secrets and I don't know how much longer I'll be able to take it.

I guess I'm dying. Slowly.


End file.
